Sunday, October 11, 2015

The Valley Recap: Does Sol Meditate in the Woods? (S2:E5)

Welcome back to Dayton Valley Talk! If you haven't already, check out my hilarious recaps of earlier episodes.

The Valley is a Dayton-produced reality show, featuring favorite players from Season 1 and a set of new 18-24 year-olds to put on the show when the others are busy. Everyone has something to prove. So what’s your story?

The cast includes:

Ally: Really can paint
Alexys: Spoiler - gets in a car wreck
Noelle: Cries next episode
Ellis: Too good for this show
Sol: Has a spiritual advisor
Ryan: Gets stood up for his date
Casey: Paints and sips
Aaron: Not in this one
Don B: Can't paint
Chris: Not in this one
Nathan (not pictured): Gays up the previews

Last episode Ellis mentors a cute kid. They all go to Summer Jam--even Nathan, who is bored. Sol has drama on the BB Riverboat and Ryan asks Alexys on a date.

Theme song :  “Do you have what it takes?” To find out that Ellis is even nicer than you thought? To visit a spiritual advisor's living room with Sol? To paint better than Don B?

First adventure: Sol visits her spiritual advisor
Sol meditates in the woods. She has depression. She says she spent a few years in a dark place and had to hit "rock bottom."

She goes to visit her spiritual advisor who appears to be a nice suburban lady. They talk in her living room. Sadly, there are no candles or beads or scarves of any kind.

We learn Sol moved out of her house before she even finished high school. Her spiritual advisor says the hokey things like "be your best authentic self" that you would expect.

Second adventure: Pinot's Palette
Sol, Ally, Don B, Casey and Ellis go to one of those sip and all paint the same thing places.

Instructor: "Do you remember from elementary school... red and yellow make...'

Sol: "BLUE!"

Ellis got paint in his mouth. Ally's painting is awesome. Not so much for Don B.

Third adventure: Ellis and his aunt
She raised him from age 5. She is a super hero according to Ellis.

She has breast cancer. He wants to be there for her. They are emotional. Why is Ellis on this show with these petty, shallow people?

He got a pink ribbon tattoo on his stomach.

Third adventure: Kaze sushi place in Cincinnati
Ryan and Alexys have their date.

Alexys is a no-show. He orders anyway.

She was in a car wreck on her way to the restaurant. He meets her at Daddy's condo mansion to talk.

They go ride a carousel in downtown Cincy. She leaves tomorrow for 32 days in London.

They kiss.

Alexys: "His lips are like his pecs: They are big and I like them."

Next time: Nathan hangs with the gay city councilman again. Noelle goes to the Dayton Dragons to play catch. The group goes canoeing.

And here it is, your moment of zen:

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