Sunday, September 20, 2015

The Valley Recap: Awesome College Stories About Barf (S2:E2)

Welcome back! If you missed my previous recap of The Valley, be sure to check it out.

The Valley is a Dayton-produced reality show, featuring favorite players from Season 1 and a set of new 18-24 year-olds carefully selected at the mall for Season 2: Everyone has something to prove. So what’s your story?

The cast includes:

Chris (far left) - "Invites" all the guys on a Lake Cumberland road trip
Aaron - Possibly not gay
Ryan - Drives the damn boat
Ellis (far right) - Goes down a water slide
Don B (not pictured) - Tells a barf story over lunch
Nathan (not pictured) - Hooks up in front of his roommates

Sol (left) - I am a princess
Casey - Has a boyfriend
Ally - Dumped picnic Corey
Alexys - I have seen Titanic
Noelle - Wears lots of hats

Last episode, Alexys hosted the gang at her house for a cookout, Sol shared all of her nipple adjacent area, and at some point they all sexily washed a car. 

Theme song :  “Do you have what it takes?” To tell drunk vomit stories over lunch? To crash your houseboat into the side of a mountain? To pretend you like tea?

First adventure: Bravo by the Dayton Mall
Don B, Ally and Nathan enjoy a nice lunch on the patio. They talk about how cool and nice everyone was at Alexys' cookout. And then tell college barf stories while they continue to eat.

I learned during my appearance on Living Dayton that the reason Nathan isn't in the clothesline image (it's the one plastered all over town) is that he had to work at Bob Evans all summer. So sad. So while we still have him, here are the Nathan notes of the episode:

He had a sexxxy hook-up with a guy in his dorm room. With three other roommates there. HOT.

He did not appreciate Sol's wardrobe malfunction from last episode: "Is it just me or was it a little bit awkward when Sol went on the water slide? She can wear what she likes but if it's going to be flopping out…"

Second adventure: Kroger Aquatic Center
Chris introduces Ellis and Ryan to his pal Aaron--as if Chris selected him for this show himself. Chris is so gracious he even invites Aaron to go along on their trip to Lake Cumberland. Again, as if Aaron was some random dude (and not a cast member) that Chris decided would get to be on the show.

Aaron talks about girls. Oops. I guess he isn’t gay.

Third adventure: CommuniTea
Alexys, Casey, Sol and Noelle all go to have tea. No water slides for you. We learn Ally is newly single. Sorry picnic Cory.

Apparently Ally and Alexys come here frequently for tea. Alexys: "Sometimes Ally gets boring at tea."

Because they are classy ladies, they all wear hats and then shout over each other about what it means to have friends with benefits.

Alexys: "Friends with benefits means they buy you Dominos pizza twice a week. That’s the only benefit I can think of."

Noelle seems to be wearing something different on her head each time we see her.

We're going to need a bigger fan

Fourth adventure: Special Occasions Party Supply

Noelle and Ally shop for luau party supplies for their houseboat on Lake Cumberland. They buy plastic coconuts and sea shells.

Noelle to the cashier: "Don’t make fun of us for these boob things.

Fifth adventure: Lake Cumberland State Dock
The crew (minus Don B and Nathan) get a houseboat on Lake Cumberland. Ryan is selected as the driver. He manages to drive the thing into the mountain.

Sol: "I’ve never stayed on a houseboat. I've never done anything that wasn’t a five-star hotel. I am a princess."

Next week the Lake Cumberland adventures continue. Nathan gets some sort of gravy on his shirt (just guessing). And we learn Sol's coconut cup size.


  1. WHAT THE FUDGE! CommuniTea is about 4 houses down from me! And I am BFF with the owners daughter-in-law. HOW DID I MISS THIS?? I am forever bereft.

    1. You were THIS CLOSE to awesomeness.

    2. I might seriously never get over this...I stroll past there EVERY DAY on my daily walk. I can see it from my porch. I am gonna take a pic for you today when I'm out. Because I KNOW you want me to.